There was a lot of talk last year about the metro sexual man - a kind of gaystraight man who knows how to iron a pink shirt, shop for fruit, and which way to angle the quiff in his hair in any given situation. I got the impression that the countless articles were proposing this sub-species as an antidote to the Sex in the City inspired assertive predatory women that were taking up all the column inches at the time.
But now, extensive research and rogue hypothosizing, by myself, has uncovered a new sub-species, right here in central Wellington. The Metro-Sexual Female.
Unlike the assertive predatory woman (Carrius-Bradshawus-Wannabeus) the Metro-Sexual Female is most often seen in a pair of bright white running shoes, seemingly at odds with the general business attire. Typically carrying a purse in one hand and a plastic supermarket or shopping bag in the other hand (initial research indicates that these bags often contain a nutritionally balanced packed lunch), with additional brightly coloured storage packs on their back (understood to contain gym gear).
A particularly interesting characteristic about the Metro-Sexual Female is the absolute reliance on the sipper bottle. Research to date suggests Metro-Sexual Females are generally non-aggressive, unless separated from gym equipment or said sipper bottle.