Tips for speakers at gallery openings

1. Never use the word housekeeping in your speech. There are other, better ways of telling people where the loos are or what they can do with their wine.
2. Coordinate speeches. Three different overviews of the show is fine. Having them even remotely consistent is better.
3. Coordinate speakers. Don't have three overviews of the show.
4. Never make a joke about how long you've been talking. This is the only thing people will remember.
5. Rehearse. Then rehearse again. Getting the name of the exhibition correct shouldn't be too much to ask.
6. List all the messages you want to get across, then eleminate all but the top three.
7. If it's your first speech at an institution, show that you have a vision for that institution. This is the only chance you'll get.
8. Thank your staff - they're not doing this for the money - and your sponsors, who are.
9. Be brief. Over half your guests are really only there for the wine.
10. Think takeaways. Your audience will take away one thing from your 4 minutes of fame - if you're lucky. Be brave and make that one thing matter.
11. Make love to the mike. It's just like Karaoke...